Shouting, controlling, and yelling are often expressions of inner pain. Behind those actions, there might be feelings of insecurity, anger, or disappointment. These actions represent unmet needs such as safety, understanding, and respect. Yelling and shouting back might trigger more pain and result in harm.

When that pain is directed at you, remember this truth: caring for yourself is not vanity, it is sanity. You can notice what is happening without taking it into your heart. You can observe, and not absorb.

If your partner or someone close to you is emotionally overwhelmed, you may choose to listen with empathy. Empathy is a way of being present without trying to fix anything. It is a gift you may offer, and it only has meaning when it comes from your willingness. You are not responsible for feelings that belong to another person, though we can empathise.

\